Episode 88
Rest Audit: How to Identify Your Most Pressing Rest Needs
The primary focus of our discussion centers on the concept of "rest deficiency," which is a condition far too many individuals, particularly high achievers, experience. Despite adequate sleep, many find themselves persistently fatigued due to the neglect of various essential types of rest beyond mere physical repose. We delve into the seven critical types of rest: physical, mental, emotional, sensory, creative, social, and spiritual, elucidating the necessity of each for holistic well-being. This exploration reveals that true rest is multifaceted, and understanding one's individual needs is paramount to achieving restorative experiences. By conducting a "rest audit," we can identify which types of rest we may be lacking and take actionable steps towards fulfilling those needs, ultimately fostering a more balanced and energized life.
Takeaways:
- The concept of rest extends beyond mere sleep; it encompasses seven distinct forms essential for holistic wellness.
- Many high achievers suffer from rest deficiency, lacking critical types of rest necessary for optimal functioning.
- Practicing emotional and social rest can significantly improve one's energy levels and overall well-being.
- Engaging in creative activities without the pressure to produce can rejuvenate one's creative spirit and mental clarity.
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Transcript
You know how we're always chatting about feeling exhausted all the time?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:I used to beat myself up thinking I was just lazy.
Speaker A:And even though I was getting my full eight hours of sleep and taking regular breaks throughout the day, I was still exhausted.
Speaker A:But the fascinating thing that I discovered, I wasn't actually lazy at all.
Speaker A:I was something called rest deficient.
Speaker A:Like vitamin D deficient, but rest.
Speaker A:Right When I came across this, I was doing the googling, the searching, the trying to get perspectives and all that.
Speaker A:And it came out that there's about 93% of high achievers that are missing at least three of seven types of critical rest that our bodies need.
Speaker A:And it immediately blew my mind.
Speaker A:And it was like this big like light bulb moment for me.
Speaker A:This idea is if you're still tired after resting, you weren't actually resting, you were just pausing.
Speaker A:You're listening to Healing in Hindsight, your Nobia's guide to unadulterated wellness.
Speaker A:It feels like we're all struggling to balance wellness, identity and purpose without losing ourselves, doesn't it?
Speaker A:It's okay, you're not alone.
Speaker A:I'm Taylor Danielle.
Speaker A:And as someone who manages multiple disabilities, is trying to leave the corporate grind and striving to create a life on my terms, I'm just here to help you embrace your path and redefine success in a way that works for you.
Speaker A:If that sounds like your vibe, join me for conversations and insights to remind you your journey is yours, exactly as it should be.
Speaker A:Now, the seven types of rest and why sleep isn't enough is because sleep is only one of them.
Speaker A:Physical rest, pretty self explanatory.
Speaker A:That's the one where sleep is one of them.
Speaker A:Along with movement recovery.
Speaker A:When I think movement recovery, I think like stretching, things like that.
Speaker A:There is emotional rest, which provides you space from people pleasing or over giving.
Speaker A:Then there is sensory rest, which is reducing noise screens and stimulation.
Speaker A:There's mental rest, stepping away from overthinking.
Speaker A:I think I said that one already.
Speaker A:There's creative rest, which is restoring inspiration and then social rest, being around energizing people versus draining people, which that's one that I recognize.
Speaker A:I can recognize that rest within myself because I've often said I'm energized and inspired by people that when I give then spiritual rest, which is connecting to something bigger than yourself, it's been really interesting crawling into bed, absolutely exhausted, hoping that sleep is just going to make it all better, it's going to make it all go away and those eight hours will somehow magically reset Your system.
Speaker A:And if you're not the greatest sleeper like myself, you only wake up feeling like you barely closed your eyes and possibly fall back asleep and then oversleep.
Speaker A:That frustrating experience happens because physical rest, which we said like sleep, it's just one piece of this much bigger puzzle that makes up our overall well being.
Speaker A:These six other types are equally important because they're types of restoration that we're putting probably not giving enough attention to.
Speaker A:It's if you are really hungry but decided to take a nap instead of eating, it just simply doesn't address what your body is actually craving.
Speaker A:Not say that I haven't done that a time or two.
Speaker A:But I think our modern world has somehow convinced us that rest is this one dimensional thing, when in reality it's this very rich, eclectic tapestry of different experiences that nourish different parts of who we are as humans.
Speaker A:These seven types of rest that might be missing in our lives as listed, they go beyond the physical rest that we all recognize and to go a little bit deeper into them.
Speaker A:The concept of mental rest is actually giving your brain permission to stop that endless cycle of planning and problem solving that follows you everywhere.
Speaker A:You might need mental rest if you find yourself lying awake at night with thoughts racing through your head, or if you struggle to focus on conversations because your mind keeps wandering to your to do list.
Speaker A:Hello adhd.
Speaker A:Then I think what flows right into that is emotional rest where you create some space away from all that people pleasing emotional labor that silently drains you and the batteries throughout each interaction that you have.
Speaker A:This might look like being cautious with people who constantly need your support or taking time to process your own feelings rather than always attending to others.
Speaker A:This type of rest I feel we all have.
Speaker A:But do you ever feel overwhelmed by screens, notifications and just the constant noise of modern life?
Speaker A:That most likely is a sign you're desperately needing some sensory rest.
Speaker A:And I think that one's picked up a lot for people.
Speaker A:Ah, I'm just overstimulated.
Speaker A:Sensory overload kind of thing.
Speaker A:But sensory rest is a chance for your actual senses to experience the relief of less stimulation for a while.
Speaker A:I like to think of like deprivation chambers.
Speaker A:I've never done one myself where everything is completely cut off.
Speaker A:But I definitely like to center of my eyes.
Speaker A:I definitely like will go sit in the dark.
Speaker A:I'll go sit in the closet just to shut that away.
Speaker A:And even then my ears are ringing because there's not a lot of noise.
Speaker A:I definitely want to try a sensory deprivation chamber at some point.
Speaker A:Well, we said sensory Rest, social rest.
Speaker A:That's another type that surprised me, but didn't.
Speaker A:Just because it's about balancing the time spent with people.
Speaker A:It's a chance for you to really lean into those who are energizing you and limit time spent with those who drain you.
Speaker A:There are definitely people and friends and family in my life who like, every time that I'm with them and I get to see them in some capacity, I am very much inspired and energized by them.
Speaker A:Whereas there are others that I've recognized.
Speaker A:I have to limit my interactions with them because it's just energetically draining to try and be in community with them, especially if they're going through their own emotion, their own types of rest, resetting, if you will, if they're trying to like really balance their emotional well being, mental well being, spiritual.
Speaker A:Like all these things, like when people are in transition or in evolution of aspects of themselves, it's not always pretty and cute.
Speaker A:And sometimes it can be draining on others when they're trying to still sort through it.
Speaker A:Social rest, I feel, is a big one that picked up.
Speaker A:And I do feel like the pandemic kind of gave us, forced us honestly to have a little bit of social rest, especially from being in the office, things like that.
Speaker A:But it's all about balancing time spent with people who drain you versus those who actually energize you.
Speaker A:I found that being intentional about who I spend time with has dramatically changed how I feel at the end of the day.
Speaker A:And this is really huge for me as someone who gives a lot in social situations and has a job that gives a lot of myself to people, whether that's as a trainer or throwing through doing content creation.
Speaker A:Especially as a trainer, though, I'm always facilitating, always having to navigate and find balance with giving people an energized version of myself versus when it's not necessarily because it's because of my work.
Speaker A:I get to be quiet, I get to be still.
Speaker A:But oftentimes when I have training classes, I will spend a day or two just in complete silence as much as possible, just because it can be draining.
Speaker A:And I remember training being like, wait, it really is draining.
Speaker A:I'm like, yes, because you're having to not only manage personalities, but you're having to engage people.
Speaker A:And most of the training that I do is virtual.
Speaker A:You don't have the same proximity and ways to read people's body signs and if they're actually engaged or not, things like that.
Speaker A:And there's just aspects of helping people learn something that sometimes in person provides.
Speaker A:Let's see, that leaves us with creative rest.
Speaker A:Creative rest involves following yourself or allowing yourself rather to appreciate beauty and inspiration without always feeling the pressure to produce something.
Speaker A:This makes me think of the book the Artist Way, still one that I am going to be reading.
Speaker A:I have a very extensive book list this year.
Speaker A:I'm going to be doing a lot more reading.
Speaker A:But what I like about the Artist's Way is that there are two things, two exercises that the author talks about doing.
Speaker A:That's morning pages, which is a stream of conscious just to let your mind free flow.
Speaker A:And I often forget how powerful a stream of conscious can be.
Speaker A:And then there are artist dates that you take with yourself something that is creatively inspiring as a date.
Speaker A:So going to a museum, going to see a show, going to a class, but you're doing this by yourself.
Speaker A:I really like creative rest because I never really consider that as something that was needed.
Speaker A:But as a creative I can understand it.
Speaker A:Some other ways of creative rest could be as simple as taking a walk in nature, visiting an art gallery, or even just sitting by a window and watching the clouds drift overhead.
Speaker A:Sometimes I just like to sit in the sun.
Speaker A:Yeah, creative rest is when I definitely need to work into my non negotiable habits at some point.
Speaker A:And then lastly is spiritual rest.
Speaker A:And that one is, I think, pretty self explanatory.
Speaker A:But it's that deep connection to something larger than ourselves.
Speaker A:And it gives you a sense of purpose and belonging.
Speaker A:No matter what you believe, your faith, your background, it can be whatever really nourishes your spirits, whether that's through meditation or prayer or moments of gratitude.
Speaker A:It's just a type of rest that addresses our need for meaning in ways that like binging Netflix, is just not going to satisfy.
Speaker A:I've started to incorporate little pockets of created rest into my day.
Speaker A:I have my yarn and crochet needles nearby.
Speaker A:I actually have a little shelf here where that's all there.
Speaker A:I can crochet and let my mind wander without judgment, just doing the same kind of movement over and over.
Speaker A:But it's creating something still.
Speaker A:Something is coming forth out of that effort.
Speaker A:For mental rest, I've been trying to do the 4x4 breathing technique.
Speaker A:It's actually one that my therapist recommended to me when I was struggling with panic attacks.
Speaker A:And the technique is where I count to four, breathing in, hold for four and then exhale for four.
Speaker A:And I do that four times.
Speaker A:And then on the fourth round, on the fourth exhale, I exhale for eight.
Speaker A:And it's really Amazing how quickly it can just quiet my mind and calm my nervous system down.
Speaker A:Four by four, inhale for four, hold for four, exhale for four, do it again.
Speaker A:And then on the fourth round when you exhale, exhale for eight.
Speaker A:You can do that one time though, if you want to, and exhale for eight on the first time.
Speaker A:If you don't have a lot of time to be able to do it, even just one round is really helpful.
Speaker A:The sensory rest, that one's a little tougher.
Speaker A:One thing that I have done is when I upgraded my phone, I actually kept the old one because I paid it off.
Speaker A:And this is now my work phone.
Speaker A:Now it doesn't have like data attached to it and since I'm mostly at home, I just use the WI fi.
Speaker A:But then if I do leave, I'll take it with me and use my hotspot on my main phone.
Speaker A:But like all of my social media is here.
Speaker A:Slack work email, all of that is here.
Speaker A:Now I do still have access to my work email.
Speaker A:And when I say work email, I mean my business email, my contractor work email is on there.
Speaker A:And then I do have Blue sky and Instagram on my phone, my main phone, but I put it in the hidden folder and that ensures that for iPhone users, if you're trying to like swipe back to an open window or open application, it's not there.
Speaker A:I have to go to the hidden folder, unlock it, and then unlock the app and then.
Speaker A:And it just.
Speaker A:The extra steps makes me forget about it.
Speaker A:I may only have it for if I need to go fix something that I've posted or if I do have a little bit of downtime and I'm out.
Speaker A:And I want to just engage with the community really quick, but it is not easy, easily accessible like it is on the work phone.
Speaker A:And that by itself of just removing all of the social media and work stuff and putting it on a completely separate device.
Speaker A:It feels like I've almost turned my phone off and closed my eyes in a quiet room.
Speaker A:And that feels like a reset for me.
Speaker A:I am not reaching for my phone as much in social situations to use it as a buffer.
Speaker A:Now Pinterest is probably the only one that I keep that I don't hide.
Speaker A:But that's just because I really love Pinterest for inspiration or finding recipes.
Speaker A:I use it more as a search engine than anything.
Speaker A:But removing all of that from my phone has definitely been helpful and it pushes me to be more mindful when I'm trying to either when I overstimulate myself or when I'm numbing out by aimlessly scrolling things like that.
Speaker A:That one is huge for me.
Speaker A:It's huge.
Speaker A:And it's.
Speaker A:It is hard because when you do a lot of the work now, whether you know you're working for a company or for yourself requires some aspect of social media.
Speaker A:It's how we're communicating across the world with everything that's going on, how we entertain all of that.
Speaker A:And I felt like separating.
Speaker A:It reminded me that there's more to my life than that.
Speaker A:And I actually got it from a streamer friend during TwitchCon who she was sharing that since she is a cosplayer full time and she has a family, she's married with a beautiful daughter, but she has two separate phones because she does not want to be unindated with all the social things.
Speaker A:And actually her partner will read through and respond to comments and stuff.
Speaker A:She usually posts them and keeps it moving.
Speaker A:And that's where I got the idea from.
Speaker A:And I was like, that is smart.
Speaker A:And I love that because then it makes me really intentional about when I do engage with any type of social media and I'm very intentional about what I engage with.
Speaker A:I also do try to do a sweep every now and then of either muting if I just want to support that creator, but it's not content for me or unfollowing anything that is providing a skewed view of myself or the world around me that isn't healthy.
Speaker A:This whole concept of a it's like an audit.
Speaker A:It's like a rest audit.
Speaker A:It's completely transformed how I think about managing my energy throughout the day.
Speaker A:The rest audit is identifying what you actually need to break it down.
Speaker A:It's step one, you track when you feel the most drained and then two, you match it to a type of rest that you're missing.
Speaker A:Then three, you choose one rest Focus action for the next week.
Speaker A:And I feel that has really made things easier.
Speaker A:And it sounds really.
Speaker A:It sounds really stiff, but it's not.
Speaker A:And it's just because it's being explained out.
Speaker A:But when you're doing it in real time and you get used to listening to your body and listening to your mind and your spirit of what you need, it starts to become a lot louder and clear.
Speaker A:What you need.
Speaker A:Me and my husband, a lot of times we check in with each other every morning we're like, hey, how are you feeling?
Speaker A:Do you need anything for me?
Speaker A:And when we are feeling having a little energy day, it is something that I'm actively trying to do in response to him is thinking of these different types of rest of okay, I need like social rest.
Speaker A:And since he energizes me when I spend time with him, it's like I don't want to go out and be like around a bunch of people.
Speaker A:I just want to spend time with you.
Speaker A:And some of these things can overlap because at the same time that if we decide to play a game together or maybe we decide to lay in bed and watch TV or something, or he'll be reading and I'll be crocheting.
Speaker A:Like sometimes it aids in the other aspects.
Speaker A:Like sometimes he'll read to me and that actually helps my mental rest and my physical rest because then I typically fall asleep and I usually feel really good when I fall asleep.
Speaker A:That way I don't feel as abrupt or I'm not fighting because I'm solely focused on his voice and listening and the next thing I know I'm asleep.
Speaker A:Which I used to really feel weird about the whole read me a bedtime story thing.
Speaker A:Because I don't get it.
Speaker A:Didn't.
Speaker A:I didn't get it.
Speaker A:Now I do.
Speaker A:Like when it's someone who especially you care about and is reading something that soothes you.
Speaker A:Like it's something about it.
Speaker A:Try it.
Speaker A:It's a thing we talked about all those different forms of rest and you can do this audit to see what types of rest you're needing.
Speaker A:What could be triggering the need for that?
Speaker A:I think for me, because remember all of this that I'm sharing with you guys are things that I've been thinking through, researching and trying to implement in real time.
Speaker A:I do not have this down perfectly.
Speaker A:These are just me using my trainer brain and skills to synthesize it down into something actionable.
Speaker A:Because I understand it's great to research and it's great to understand and it's great to reflect.
Speaker A:But if you have no way to what do I do next?
Speaker A:It's kind of hard with that incorporating rest into your daily life.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It doesn't need to wait until you burn out.
Speaker A:It should be a part of your routine.
Speaker A:I did talk in another episode about self care.
Speaker A:That shouldn't feel like a task.
Speaker A:It should be non negotiable habits, things that have to happen.
Speaker A:But there are small ways to integrate rest in five to ten minutes a day.
Speaker A:What I've come to realize through my own self reflective journey is that most of us have been.
Speaker A:Most of us have become experts at scheduling our work commitments but rarely apply that same level of energy and intentionality.
Speaker A:To planning the various types of rest that we desperately need.
Speaker A:The challenge that I have for you is to go through and identify what in those seven areas of rest need the most attention.
Speaker A:And what are you currently doing that is aiding in maintaining proper rest in the other areas?
Speaker A:Like for example, I might be getting my eight hours of sleep, right?
Speaker A:But I realize that I'm like my mind's racing.
Speaker A:I have very active dreams sometimes.
Speaker A:Okay, that might mean that mentally and spiritually, something's going on.
Speaker A:Let me lean into that.
Speaker A:Because it's not that I'm physically tired.
Speaker A:I realize it's that because of the mental strain, it's like I'm translating that as physical exhaustion, but it's not.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:I want to acknowledge still that I'm getting my eight hours of sleep and I think that those small wins are important to do as well.
Speaker A:Just a reminder, seven types of rest.
Speaker A:Physical rest, mental rest, emotional rest, sensory rest, creative rest, social rest, and spiritual rest.
Speaker A:Seven, Seven.
Speaker A:Okay, yeah, seven.
Speaker A:Seven areas.
Speaker A:Seven areas of rest to really go through, I would definitely do a rest audit.
Speaker A:It can be a restaurant, like a quick one right in the moment, or do a full dive.
Speaker A:Do a full restaurant on all seven.
Speaker A:Again, we're great at planning our work, but terrible at planning our rest.
Speaker A:And maybe this is just the time to take a moment to just check in with yourself and see which areas feel most depleted for you today.
Speaker A:What kind of rest do you need the most right now?
Speaker A:Check in to identify what kind of rest you need and take steps to address it.
Speaker A:Whether that's in a few minutes or if it's something that's going to require a little bit more effort.
Speaker A:But you can always get rest in the immediate moment, even if that just means going for a five minute walk.
Speaker A:I challenge everyone to do the rest audit.
Speaker A:It's a great way to understand which areas of rest need your biggest attention and share it with me.
Speaker A:Tag at healing in hindsight of what area of rest you are going to be focusing on this weekend.
